: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
