I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
