Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
