WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
