Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
