Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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