Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
