You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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