so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
