Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
