I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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