People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
