I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
