Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
