That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
