kristin has been a bad kristin
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
