Nicole vs. Life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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