I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
