I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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