If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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