I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
