phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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