I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
