Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
