after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
