I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
