Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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