Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize