my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
