Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This house was built for laser tag.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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