My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
