look no pants
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
