So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
