My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
