Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
