So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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