I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
