After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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