how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
