The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
