Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just google imaged poop.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
