i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
