Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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