My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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