How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
