CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
