gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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