College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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