wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
