no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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