so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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