Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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