it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
