So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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